Koh Kut

To get to the beach (on an island called Koh Kut), we had to take an uber, a plane, a taxi, a bus, a tuk tuk, a red pick-up, another taxi, a weird behemoth truck that had bench seats, another tuk tuk, and a ferry. The Trat bus station was run entirely by dogs. Fortunately, Monet spoke "dog" and we were able to get to the right place.


Approaching the island with Leaf at the bow, doing his best Leonardo DiCaprio.


When we landed on Koh Kut, guess who was waiting for us? Yep. It was Buddha.


After a few hours on Koh Kut, we became totally blissed out. The island was too perfect. Coconuts fell out of the trees and rolled to our feet. Fish jumped out of the bay and landed on our cooking spit. We ended up sleeping on the beach, under the stars, near this quiet little lagoon.


Okay, that was a lie. . . we actually splurged on a resort that was right on the beach (don't tell anybody). But check out our view of the sun setting over the Gulf of Thailand . . perfect, right?


Loving it. . .


Our first night we ate at a nice Italian restaurant that had maybe the worst pizza ever. . . but we didn't care. We were too blissed out.


That next day we rented motor bikes and headed for the interior.


First we stopped and got some gas. . .


The more we biked, the more blissed out the world became. . .


Until we ended up at the most perfect blissful waterfall in all of creation. You can't make this stuff up!


We even walked behind that goddam perfect blissful waterfall!


TOO MUCH BLISS. . . HEAD GOING TO EXPLODE!!!!!



"Help! Can anybody hear me! We're stuck in paradise!"


"What's the matter, Santa? You look upset."
"Well, Rudolph. I have no clue what to get these people. They're so goddam blissed out, they barely even know it's Christmas. Screw it, I'm headed back to the north pole. This place gives me the creeps."


What's this? Another perfect sunset? No way. We must be in a simulation.


Loving it. . . .


"Something must be wrong with me. . . all we do on this island is swim and eat and snorkel and kayak and hang out on the beach and have fun. . . This place makes no sense to me. . . . Even Leaf has chilled out. . . Maybe I'm nuts?"


Loving it. . . .


"Monet, there you are! We gotta get off this island. It's freaking me out. Maybe we can go back to Bangkok and chill for a few days, ride a tuk-tuk, visit a theme park or just wait it out until our plane leaves? What do you think?"
"Wow. . . you're really anxious. . . ."
"I know."
"Well, okay. If you really wanna go, we're not that far from the Cambodian border."
"Huh!?"


So we only stayed for three days on Koh Kut. And now we were on our way to Cambodia, even though our flight left from Bangkok in only three days. At least it was something tangible to freak out about. Somehow, I felt relieved. I'll leave you with a photo of a man walking past a giant elephant without even noticing. . . I'm sure it's a good analogy for something, although I'm not sure what. .


NEXT DAY

Cambodia

So, we were off to Cambodia. After a crazy border crossing at Prum where we nearly got all our money taken by a border guard, we managed to get a taxi to Siem Reap. What was Leaf listening to in route? The Dead Kennedys, of course. What better time for a lesson in punk music?


Siem Reap, baby!


"I love riding tuk tuk's in Cambodian traffic, don't you? So much better than the beach."


"I don't know. . ."


A young Buddhist monk walks into to a mini mart. He stares at two pieces of candy behind the counter. Finally the cashier walks over to the young monk. "Do you want a piece of candy?" asks the cashier. The young monk shakes his head. "I do not want." The cashier smiles. "Come on, I know you want. I'll give you one piece for no cost. Choose a piece." The young monk nods and lowers his head. "You are very kind. Okay. I'll take the inner piece."

Angkor Wat

We spent the morning touring Angkor Wat, a massive temple complex built by the Khmer Empire. The place had Disney-worthy crowds. We paid for a tour guide and he was very nice, but he kept taking us to the ANGKOR WAT SUPER FAMOUS TOURIST PHOTO OPPORTUNITIES. Here we are in front of the main towers.


And here we are in front of the reflective pond.


Inside the temple, a novice monk was blessing people and giving them friendship bracelets for a donation. Leaf sneered at the monk. "I could do that," he said. "I'd make bank. Way more than that kid."


And here we are in front some other famous something or other. Leaf said, "Yeah, I would totally destroy that little monk. I can even go barefoot for longer than him. He has no skills."


At the entrance of the temple was a giant eight-armed Vishnu statue with a Buddha head. Huh? A frankengod? Yeah, it had the man bun and the big ears and everything. How did that happen? Well, when the Buddhists took over, instead of replacing the whole statue, they just replaced the head. Reduce, reuse, recycle.


Here is a view from behind the temples. On the far right, you can see a monk on his cell phone (a little out of focus). I don't know why, but there is nothing funnier than seeing a monk on his cell phone.


On the grounds of Angkor Wat, there were monkeys that jumped in the trash bins and entertained the crowds. "And I thought this trip was gonna suck. Another boring temple," said the guy with the big lens. "Finally, I get to take some action shots! Woo hoo!"


"Well, that was fun. Now let's get to the airport and buy some tickets to Bangkok. It's time to go home."


Question: Why did the Buddhist monk cross the road?
Answer: What makes you think there's a road? There's no road! That would imply there's somewhere to get to. You gotta let that shit go. . .

Phnom Penh

Before flying back to Bangkok we stopped in Phnom Penh. We didn't have much time for tourism, but we did go to the converted high school, S21, the Khmer Rouge's prison and torture center. It was very intense and sobering (sorry, no photos). We also walked around the Grand Palace, peeked in a museum, and checked out a cool construction site.



At the national museum, Leaf found a Hindu god with only two arms. High five!


While Monet shot a parting panorama of the olympic stadium.


Here's our last tuk tuk ride (sniff sniff)

I'll leave you a final view of an elephant in Bangkok. Thanks Thailand and Cambodia. We had an awesome trip. Can't wait for the next one!


Oh. . . I almost forgot. Leaf took a ton of shots of a Bangkok street market. Here they are. Enjoy!